DeepestPoetries

2009-06-22T14:26:00.004+08:00

i admit!!

i panic when you both going away.
where else i was the one who gave you the courage to go.
everything went so quicky in days when the result is out

and you guys were ready to leave.

p.s: i miss you so much mama and baba.

2009-06-21T16:05:00.002+08:00

Last night he forgot

how the sound of her voice whispered sweet.

Goodbyes,

her eyes,

left to die.

He's alone to understand why.

Why not one more night

One last kiss goodbye.

His sweet love tonight.

He hope the stars

still spell out her name where she is

Kiss his closing eyes.

Help him sleep.
Without her he's so lost.

Tonight he cry.
Tell him why.

He can't live without her warm embrace.

Goodbye to her his love.

He won't forget you.

Goodbye his love
Bye bye my love.

A story from Raffeal story to Anna.

2009-06-18T17:54:00.005+08:00

Darling, You're my deepest secret

Silencing out my fears.

I couldn't wait for new beginning

I couldn't wait another year.
Another hour

Another minute

Another reason

for you to say it back to me.

Right now i need you so bad (so bad)

Right now i need you so.
I pull her hood back ever so slowly

Her eyes are filling out with tears.

I wishing now for new a beginning

I wishing now that she were here.
Another hour

Another minute

Another reason

for you to say it back to me.

Right now i need you so bad (so bad)

Right now i need you so.
Another hour

Another minute

Another reason

for you to say it back to me.

Right now i need you so bad (so bad)

Right now i need you so.
And i know much in you

when you can't stop starring

No aparting in circles

i can't stop swearing.

I'll be down about you

and out your eyes.

Tear me apart within inside.
And i swear i won't let you go just yet

I swear i won't let you go just yet
Another hour

Another minute

(And i swear i won't let you go just yet)

Another reason

for you to say it back to me

(I swear i won't let you go just yet)

Right now i need you so bad

(And i swear i won't let you go just yet)

Right now i need you so.

(I swear i won't let you go just yet)
Another hour

Another minute

(And i swear i won't let you go just yet)

Another reason

for you to say it back to me

(I swear i won't let you go just yet)

Right now i need you so bad

(And i swear i won't let you go just yet)

Right now i need you so.

(I swear i won't let you go just yet)

Story from : Raffeal to Anna

2009-06-17T10:44:00.001+08:00

im lost.

im insecure.

im empty.

im lonely

and im without a shell.

2009-06-16T19:23:00.004+08:00

He dont see why must he stayy.

He dont see why cant he forget everything.

Everything he do,

or say

leave her nothing to say.

Leaving her speechless.

Thanks for acting like that.

cause being like that,

is putting salt to his wounds.

He thought she's different and

treating his wounds

but he was wrong.

She's just stopping by at the wounds and

continue putting salt

where the previous party last do it.

2009-06-14T12:35:00.002+08:00

When he wake up in the morning

All he want to feel is her love

All he think is about her

And how he feel his towards her

It only took that one time till now

Now you're the only thing on his mind

Baby girl all he wanna do is feel her love
He can't stop thinking about her

From the first time that he hear her

He never felt this way inside

She knows after what happen

Yeah he's not feeling right

It's like she put some kind of spell on him

And he don't know what to do

Cause everywhere he look

all he see is a silhouette of her

See cause he was used to running around

Every night going out

Finding a new girl to go to
And after all he been through with full of high hopes
and all empty promises.

But that was until her

Came into his life

Made him change his mind

On what to do

And all the ways he used to
Yeah

he know he's losing time

She's no ordinary girl

Baby girl he gotta play this right

She's got him lose his mind

Tryna figure out how to find

What's her fullname

what she love to wear

and so on..

Is he asking too much or not enough?

So let him know this feeling's true

Cause he all he wanna do

Is get a little closer to her

if she only knew

Just let him know what he gotta do

So how's it feel to know that he

Can't get her off his mind

Constantly day and night he think of her

He caught up on her

that part's true

2009-06-14T11:38:00.003+08:00

Ever since the day he know you

he never feel so lonely and cold.

His life just hasn't been the same ohh.

How he wish to looked into her eyes

and not her go
Baby if he ever get the chance to be with her

everything i would sacrifice.

Cuz the feeling that he feel within

No other women would ever make him feel so right

Its nice to smile when he get her phone call at night

or anytime.

But he rather have her here with him

right next to him.

And hopefully he got to hold her tightly
He gotta let her know he feel so weak without her calling

texting.

He never thought that he could ever love a women so much

again.

He gotta let her know he think that ther are destiny

but his afraid to make confession.

he afraid of everything.

For her he cross the world

for her her do anything
Thats right baby he's going crazy

he need you to be his lady

He been thinking lately

That her and him

yes they can make it

Just ride with him

roll with him

He's in love with her
Break it down now

He tell her what he feel

From the moment that he hear her its been so damn real

His heart seems to skip another beat

Every time they speak

He can't believe he feel so weak

Tell him that she really need him

and she want him

and she miss him

And she love me she his lady

He be around waiting for her

He put it down be the woman for her
He falling so deep for her crazy over for her

He's calling, calling out to her what am he going to do?

It's true and no fronting

Its her and no other he can no longer go on

without her he just break down
talk to himlook ma let him talk for a minute

feelin him she aint finished got the messages

she left on his phone said she missed him

when it gets to bein a lone now

her worlds turned upside down with out him

bein round hold up now he's not done sit back down

see he's was goin crazy for her for her was goin crazy 4 him

dont wanna fuss and fight no more believe him gurl

thats just not how its suppose to be oh baby he's crazy

she crazy

they crazy

he's waiting.

hope she's reading.

and say it all back to him.

2009-06-14T02:26:00.002+08:00

He wish for her on a fallin' star,wonderin'

where is she

do he ever cross her mind.
never know what her means to him.

He fell for the girl at the PICTURE.

2009-06-11T04:25:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time

there's a boy and a girl.

Lets call the girl Amanda.

And the boy Rafla.

they were messenger-ing getting to know each other.

the jokes and the normal things they talk about.

Suddenly Amanda ask Rafla to watch this wonder baby
and its so funny
and cute.

He laugh out loud!

HAHA!

After that

Amanda give Rafla a few more links.

A korean video which touched Rafla heart when watching.

And never had this feeling for awhile after what happen to him.

Soon after he begin to thinking about this Amanda.

Amanda is so thoughtful.

Rafla got abit scared and nervous.

Came after Amanda hand her two favourite songs.

Rafael get the lyrics and read it.

Trying to think why is Amanda giving him all this.

Is she trying to say this to him with all this words

and means from her heart

or just the sake of sending but means nothing at all to her.

And until now the words still stuck on Rafla head.

The words goes like this.

I can't read your mind

I need you to say it

Plain and simple

I would give my life

To you

Everything you needed

Baby I would be it

You're the only one

I talk to

Who really knows me

Tells me shows me

That it's enough

Sometimes

Just to be myself

I don't want nobody else

They don't understand

That I gave away my heart

The moment

That I shook your hand

Take my breath away

Buy me anything I ask

Go anywhere I wanna go

I traded everything

Just to know

Let me know you love me

Let me know you care

Let me know

You're thinking of me

When I can't be there

Let me know you miss me

Call me up sometimes

I don't wanna go but

Boy

You gotta let me know

Stop and listen

It's my thoughts

Calling your name

Screaming out

The way I feel

I wish you

Would do the same

I think you might be

On the same border

Same line same page

I'm tired

Listening to your silence

Brings the water to my eyes

I don't want nobody else

They don't understand

That I gave away my heart

The moment

That I shook your hand

Don't let me in the dark

Let this blind over my eyes

If you don't feel the same

Is everything we have a lie?

Please

Give me a reason to stay

Gotta get us back on track

Cause the worst thing is

Loving someone

Who doesn't love you back

I think you do

But I need you to say it

Soon after

Rafla gave up and expose himself to her.

No one knows about the real him except for himself.

Isit a mistake to expose himself so quickly.

Happy ending will it be?

or just the usual Rafla got it from a party.

2009-06-10T02:22:00.002+08:00

When the cast is open,

everything is new to him.

He couldnt wait for a new beginning of life.
All the Hopes.

All the Lies.

All is a Lesson.

And he will always be One of a Kind

And continue do things that he never do before
To himself nor for someone.

2009-06-10T01:03:00.002+08:00

Reverse psychology's failing miserably

It's so hard to be
left all alone

Telling her is the only chance for him

There's nothing left but
to turn and face her

When he look into her eyes
there's nothing there to see

Nothing but
his own mistakes staring back at him

And asking why...

All his sacrifice was hiding in her lie

The sacrifice is never knowing to her.

2009-06-10T00:17:00.003+08:00

Everything is so complex

Everyday is like a test full of opsticals

That almost seem impossible

And he thinking just another breath not a minute left.

How long have he been drinking?

Pass the glass pint hit the flash light now break it.

People say he's a star but

he still think he never make it.

And he thinking just another prayer not a second left.

He feel there’s something missing

Sometimes he hate that chaos surrounds him

when all the answers he see go around him.

Is he drowning?

Is he fading away?

Or is he living up to all her dreams that made me this way?

He been to hell and back looking for the answers to life.

Looking at himself trying to get things right.

And he's feeling just another breath not a minute left.

He feel the darkness lifting.

There was a time

That he questioned if he ever be alright.

Running getting high staying trapped by sleepless nights.

He's running from himself

and all the things he don’t like.

Living every night like it’s the last night.

And he thinking just another prayer not a second left.

He need to stop resisting.

He's drowning in the drama lost in the lies

trapped by the currents of life caught in the rip tides.

2009-06-09T23:19:00.003+08:00

When he trembling

Thrown overboard

He's already relive the past

He pretend it's nothing

He pull myself together

He say that I'll forget her

He breathe

And he say she never hurt him

And look at it as learning

And laugh about the good and the bad

Because he will live forever

We don’t belong together

He know he feel better

He make it through

When he say to her

He be not okay

If he land himself somewhere

And there is where she got to know that

He willing to put his life on the line

Just to get over her.

=))

2009-05-31T02:00:00.001+08:00

Here he go again

Put him on the first flight heading eastbound

He promise not to tell his dad

He's miserable

But he grow up to learn

that the scars is cut are permanent

Do anyone find it amusing that he's seeing clear

In this haze of hateful atmosphere

So take him out

Cause he's a mess when he's alone

And if anyone can help

He think his losing it

He grab and hold on tightly

but he start to slip

But they got it wrong saying 'love is blind'

but love is all about sacrifices.

So this one goes out

To all you love struck fools

He got news for you

He know a thing or two on giving up

To all you heartless souls

He think it's best you know

He play the leading role on giving up.

2009-05-31T01:42:00.002+08:00

He can see now that all of these clouds

are following him

in his desperate endeavor

To find his whoever

wherever she may be

He's not coming back

He done something so terrible

He terrified to speak

He's mixed up

He be blunt

Now the rain is just driving him crazy

Washing she out of his hair

and out of his mind

Keeping an eye on the world.

So many thousands of feet off the ground

He's over you now

He's at home in the clouds

Towering over her head

2009-05-31T01:23:00.002+08:00

He want to breathe her in

Crawl inside her head

Walk around for hours

Exploring thoughts unsaid
He want to taste her fear

And swim inside her eyes

Wrap up in her soul

And feel her anger rise
He want to lick her pain

Bathe in all her tears

Suffocate with memories

He gathered through the years

He want to kiss her depth

And wallow in her sin

Feeling every single thing

He ever felt within
He want to touch her anger

Linger in her pride

Soaking up the hatred

He buried deep inside
He want to smell her secrets

Inhaling all the lies

Relish in contentment

That floats apon her sighs
He want to hear her love

Trail fingers down her dreams

Soak his feet in happiness

Of endless laughter streams

He want to see your turmoil

Get lost inside the lust

Piled up in corners

Collecting passions dust

He want to grasp her innocence

Submerge inside her guilt

Tremble with perceptions

That he have never felt

He want to caress her consciousness

And lay beside her cries

Tremble with her presence

Engulfed within her eyes

Happiness is just outside his window.

Or is happiness a little more like knocking

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow

but her are gone-not for good but for now.

Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good.

Happiness damn near destroys her!

So he tell himself that's probably enough for now

Happiness has a violent roar.

Happiness is like the old man told him

Look for itbut he never find it.

But let it go

live your life and leave it.

Then one day

wake up he'll be home.

2009-05-27T06:12:00.001+08:00

He been losing his mind.

He been living a lie.

He been running away

for so long.

He try to put on a face

and cover his heart.
He dont know how he feel.

Maybe he's mad

or maybe he's proud.

He cant find the truth.

He cant speak his mind.

Dont know what he say.
No!

He cant explain

what happened to him.

Inside everything's upside down.

Everything's spinning around

and its freaking him out.
He love her too much.

It shows.

All his emotions go

out of control.

From the tears that flow

and dripp to the floor.

2009-05-26T04:30:00.002+08:00

Every step he took since the moment

he could walk was a step toward finding her.

He wrote her name in the sand

but the waves washed it away.

He wrote her name in his heart

and forever it will stay.

If he count how many times

she crossed his mind in his entire life.

He be lying if he said it was too many

cause heronly crossed his mind once

why?

She never left.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other

but in looking together in the same direction.

Grow old with him!

The best is yet to be.

The most beautiful view is the one

he share with her.

For her see

each day he love her more.

Today more than yesterday

and less than tomorrow.

Relationships of all kinds

are like sand held in her hand.

Held loosely

with an open hand the sand

remains where it is.

The minute she close his hand

and squeeze tightly to hold on the sand trickles

through her fingers.

She may hold onto some of it

but most will be spilled.

A relationship is like that.

Held loosely

with respect and freedom

for the other person

it is likely to remain intact.

But hold too tightly

too possessively

and the relationship slips away

and is lost.

There is one pain he often feel

which she will never know

because it is caused by the absence of her.

If she can't save the relationship

at least save her pride.

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree

but still hold hands.

Some people come into their lives

and quickly go.

Some stay for awhile

and leave footprints on their hearts.

And they are neverever the same.

2009-05-23T03:59:00.005+08:00

may sixteen zero nine.

Rafael was spending his last two days

at home before heading to work at night.

He usual not at home

but working twenty four seven

due to the sadness

he sees at home with parents packing their stuffs

ready to leave home for a year.

His dad had to work overseas.

His mom have to follow.

Last few hours spending and helping

he bathe and head to work.

Night shift is his usual shift.

The night was breeze and cool.

Even though he's already tired of working twenty four seven

because of he wanna get this girl off his mind

he relax and continue like every night.

That night when he reach his hub

one of his colleagues ask"Fael!

we planned to eat supper like that night.

Chip in?"

And he said

"Anything bro".

He chip in

and laugh off with a smile.

He start his bike.

Switch on his ipod

(with the song that been on for months playing on repeat title i wanted you by ina)

and move off to some off beach park where his deliver is.

riding slowly at night (as usual)

feeling the breeze and the cold night.

After sending his order

riding slowly.

He saw this cabby infront of him

so he decided to change lane to the right.

He pass the cab and suddenly

the cabby just turn without looking hit him

and he flung 2 to 4 meters to the opposite road

and land on the extreme left lane.

His bike was total damaged.

He didnt take a second to look at his bike

but hop to the center

and swear that cab driver

and he faint after that.

He suddenly wake up upon arrival at the hospital.

And his mind was his mom and dad

and the girl that

he said this to

"i'll be not okay if i land myself somewhere

and there is where you got to know

that im willing to put my life on the line just to get over you."

And now aftermath

he said to himself

"he just wish he just die for her

and things would be much easier.

And now he dont know when he can walk again

hope she's happy.

Happy that someone willing

to take his life away just to get over her

and hope noone does that for her before

and noone will ever do that for her."

2009-05-21T19:16:00.002+08:00

The sun shivers me
and the rain kills me.

Will I be better if I were dead?

My wounds now reminds me you.

2009-05-20T21:54:00.004+08:00

i never thought that i would landed somewhere and give up and get over you as i never wished it will happen. i still love and still wait even though i will break my promise.

2009-05-16T16:18:00.002+08:00

Time ticking tick tocking.

Mama packing

and Baba working last at spore.

Having our last meal together tomolo at home.

How silence it would be when they're gone.

Baba, forgive me for every wrong thing that i done.

i didnt mean it so.

Same goes to Mama.

I will try to find someone who can take care of me while you're gone.

Like you said.

Im notty when no one apart of me.

I do whatever i like.

But Mama, no one have caught fire in my eyes except her.

It been five years now

and only she caught me Mama.

Only now i have her eight digits.

But i dont have the guts to say to her or even confess to her.

I know nothing about her.

All i know about her is her number

her favourite Macd Meal

her favourite chocolate

her favourite Color

and where she stay atand what her storey.

Im just so afraid Mama.

Im afraid of being alone in the dark room.

and i know im gona cry when you and Baba walking pass

through that gate.

How i wish she know how i feel.

How i wish she know that she's the meddy.

How i wish she know that im craving for her.

She keep gaving me love but thats all in cyber.

Not in reality.

How i wish it was real.

I promise Mama i will takecare of myself

and not be notty

and always clean up my room when its in mess.

loves Muhd Razeen Badarudin

2009-05-14T21:34:00.002+08:00

Like a moth to a flame

Burned by the fire

My love is blind

Can't you see my desire?

2009-05-14T21:22:00.003+08:00

You dont realise

I'd do anything for you.

I'd wanna steal the stars out from the sky above you.

I would tame the wild hurricane wind.

If you take this heart of mine.

How i wish i can say dont make me wait one more day.

Don't you forsake this love so great if you ever feel it.

But i know you dont.

I wish to walk to heavens gate with you.

How i wish you would say "I love you"

We've been friends

and how i wish we been so close together.

I want more to satisfy this hunger.

I want your body

mind

spirit

and soul.

But i think i wouldnt happen.

Baby let's set the wheels in motion.

Youre the cure to this heart that's broken.

Come on baby.

Let's seize the moment.

Just say the words I long to hear spoken

But i think i gotta walking into a rosebush and not get pricked by thorns.

Don't you worry.

My tears will soon be over.

Im just going away to get over you.

With your conscience clear for a new life ahead.

Don't be sorry.

I really need to hear the truth.

But the only thing im asking.

Cos i need you to

Remember me.

Maybe time alone will make you see

and how deep our love could be.

Cos i know

this the first time in five years now.

Now i surrender my soul.

Cos you're always

keepin' me waitin'

anticipatin'

I hope when im gone

you would find the love i had for you.

I give up as i know there's no glimmer of a chance

And my dream is just a fairy tales.

Trying to invite love and a perfect romance.

A burning passion

oh baby you're my destiny.

But I'll be there

even though you don't care.

2009-05-10T11:53:00.004+08:00

I dont want to see the world

alone to take a chance on life again.

If i were to be your prince charming

and your my enchanted princess on our throne

forever rule the kingdom of our love.

Together living in a bubble.

The days are neverending for US

Cause i got to say this maybe its in your eyes

Its definitely Baby

its in your smile.

Cause i just can go crazy

Losing it all.

And it will make me happy catching you fall.

In a weeks timeBaba and Mama leaving.

And i dont know gonna happen.

I dont know what in you that made me caught fire

and wanna be with you.

Where i dont even know you at all.

Not a single thing.

I dont know why i felt shit up and tripp

when you say a friend fetching you.

First i working like hell

because i dont want

to cry in my room and think and look

at the stuffs that packing up.

And now

you came play apart.

Im just trying to get you off my mind.

But i cant.

I dont want to fall.

Falling will just end me up bleeding

and not healing.

But i already am.

And i know it gona hurt next.

It just simply starts with a N and ends with a A.

Begins with a S and ends with a A.

In between a I.

I just dont know why i love you.

But i know you dont love me or having anything towards me.
Trying to be close just simply scared.

Trying to confess

but everything change my mind.

Trying to say something but

end up stopping halfway

and just leave it hanging.

I afraid of wooing you.

Why cant you just woo me.

Whatever it is

only you have caught fire in my eyes all this years.

From the first time i saw you

till this sec im typing out

even though you did nothing at all.

And now again.

Forcing everything from my veins

to my blood in my body

to work and get you off my mind.

Force till i cant force.

That is why i decide to pack and leave

without you noticing that im gone.

You never notice anything coming from me.

I swore five vowels and three syllabels to you

2009-05-09T20:02:00.003+08:00

He woke up from dreaming

Dreaming that she was at his doorstep.

She bought food for him.

And say can i come in and company you while youre parents away.

He's leaning now into the breeze

Remembering the dream and

he falls to his knees.

Like the feeling of what he needs

From the one who caught fire in his eyes.

Even though he doesn't believe in love

he's determined to call her bluff.

Who could deny these butterflies?

They're filling his gut

and he admit that he do love you.

They're neighbors all this while.unfamiliar faces

He pleads.

Oh he tries

But he's only denied everything

Now he's dying to get inside

She was the first who made him like this.

Having butterflies in the stomach.

Texting and stopping halfway through all his sentence.

She's in his mind all the while

without she realising that it was her all this while.

Backing off from all his words.

He's a victim of his time

There was no choosing his direction

He feel lost in the path.

Never ever thought that she will be in his cell.

And now he does still hiding behind the bushes.

With all his trials behind him

He simply weak in his conviction.

You were are now the victim of his crimes

You were a beautiful distraction

So he kept her locked away outside

Let misery provide

And now he's afraid.

How he wish you were his

and he were yours.

He read you as his enchanted princess.

He hoped it would come true

that one day he would be your prince charming.

And say this to you.

"I would make you my world

move heaven and earth if you were my girl

I would give you my heart

be all that you need

show you you're everything that's precious to me

if you give me a chance
I never make a promise i don't intend to keep

so when i say forever

forever's what i mean
Well i'm no casanovabut i swear this much is true.

I'll be holding nothing back

when it comes to you

you dream of love that's everlasting

well baby open up your eyes."

2009-05-07T17:28:00.010+08:00

He was shy to make his move.

His life was full of loneliness

Until she caught fire in his eyes

Gotta be gotta be his everything

He got what he want

He got what he need

What can he do

When he really really crazy over her.

Once upon a time

there was a boy and a girl.

This is so typical

they were so typical.

For example boy loves girl

but girl doesnt know that boy loves her cause

The boy is shy.

The boy is why.

The boy is scared.

The girl still stands strong livin her life

The man in boy

pretends that he had no love for the girl anyway

He keeps to himself in the place that he stays umm

He writes letters

one after another

and other ways he possibly could saying that

He know that he be loving her so

Shes his soul

His everything in life he could have

He just cant let her go

It was another day

and the boy was working at MacD's

forcing everything he got in his body to get over her

and denied loving her.

He memorized his final script

and wrote the last letter.

Hoping that it was abit better

than the one before.

Thats what its for

he’s ready to make the first move

ready to score but.

Suddenly

in front of him

ordering fries and a macspicy was none other than the one he wanted

The girl with another guy

she smiled

he winked

they both said, ‘hi!’

He was dumfounded

jaws dropped to the floor.

closed it.

And he ran straight out the door

And back to his crib where he cried and cried.
He loving you so much

and want you in his life

even though he know nothing about you.

He never cried like this

The words he wrote for her

He noticed her from far

But all she see is like

She don’t give a damn

Boxes piling up

He leaving on the jetplane without you realising it

Typing this out

tears falling and rolling down his cheek

and saying I Love you so much Six Three..

He telling her its too tough

when he feel he almost had her but

2009-05-07T16:36:00.005+08:00

err he dont know where to start.

here it go.

he didnt know all this while she were in his profile.

last sunday while he was working he saw her passing by and

she went in to buy some macd.

yes he one of the riders.

so hate that day got attach there for a day.

im sorry on their behalf for disturbing her.

he dont like them anyway. =))

secondly,

all this while/years he been finding this natural beauty girl that living near his area.

he still remember every day before

he got his two wheels they used to go to school together.

she were in B and he was still in Ba.

yes he admit.

the first time he saw her at the station

she caught fire in his eyes

then he went searching every profile he got but

still couldnt find her.

type out her school or the area they living in but still couldnt find her.

and now he just realise she were in his profile all this while.

before he got his two wheels

after the first time he saw her he hope to see her every morning.
when he saw her je

he will look secretly and

when she realise he was looking he will turn away and

look else where.

after he got his two wheels je

he dont see her anymore.

a year plus going to be two now but

he still searching.

ask around who that natural beauty girl that he saw every morning.

give describtion to his friends but

no one know who.until last sunday he saw her again after so long.

even though that particular day he got the chance to go to her

still he was still afraid like before he have his two wheels.

so now since he know she in his list

he taking this chance even though its not gentle.

maybe she can call this all crap or whatsoever she may think of.

its her decision he respect.

he out of words what to say to her.

rush home for awhile just to message her here

and now he going off back for his second shift.

but its all to her to believe him.

Begin with the letter N and ends with the letter A.

In between a I.

maybe if she want to she can hit his eight digits.

he not sure whether he making the wrong move by giving out his digits.
never he ever do this before.

this was his first and last.

so now he guess he go now and

bathe and back to work.

2009-05-04T15:27:00.008+08:00

Beautiful you know you leave me breathless

each time you caught fire into my eyes.

My heart belong to you and you my angel

even though i know youre taken.

Each time i saw you countlessly

i cant believe it how magical you are.

My star belong to you baby.

I thought I could live in your arms

and spend every moment I had with you

Stay up all night watching the stars

and confess all the faith that I had in you.

I thought that we could sit around and talk for hours.

About things I couldnt say to you

And things that we could never do and

this conversation has had no face.

Starts with a alphabet S and ends with A.

Begin with the letter N and ends with the letter A.

In between a I.

I borrow words from all my favourite paragraphs.

To write about all of these faded things.

We hope would mean the most to me

and each line is sent i have found a new pages of hope

for the days when i fell like ive lost everything.

Baby your the closest thing that ive wanted most but

you still cant see.

I say five vowels and three syllabels to you.
Its the same three words i thought i would never said again to anyone.

The phrase that breaks a heart in two

Cause Baby I love You

2009-05-02T11:47:00.003+08:00

My misery

My history

Here i am with nobody.

Walking all alone

on my lonely street.

Standing tall on my own feet.

I cant believe this happen to me.

You left me standing to face reality.

Im standing again.

To release the pain.

Here i am my melody.

Asking you to stay with me.

Here i am my melody.

I force myself to work when i actually cant.

Been falling sick till i dont know how.

Got myself in accident till i lost count.

Everything i do now is because i want to get you of my mind.

I been bleeding bad.

But you can't see my blood It's nothing

but some feelings that i always hide.
I've always been a fighter and

fight thru every single thing but

im so weak when you were here

and i cant fight thru

Now your picture that i took and put it in my cell.

Are just memories of a different life

Some that made us laugh

some that made us cry

One that made i have to say goodbye

Seeing you popup on my cell

how i wish you were mine.

Touching my cell

looking upon you and i say

"You're the only one who caught my eyes on fire"

No one have suceeded to do so except you.

How i wish i could say this upon looking in your eyes

"You look so wonderful.

Youre everything I need and more"

Even though i dont know you well

i feel i know you everything.

I just dont want you to realise how much i love you.

I really do.

When the first time i hand you your meal.

I went lost of words.

I was shock

lost

I dont know what to do.

Have a quick words and quickly walkaway.

I know i was rude.

I just cant help it.

My body was melting

and my knees are shaking.

My heart is pounding to pieces.

How much i feel so lonely when baba and mama leaving soon.

less than a month now.

What gonna happen to me.

I dont know.

Now i know when im gonna serve the nation.

I'm so sorry Baby

Maybe i should just pack up and leave

and only return when i need so.

Leaving without you realising that im gone.

But i want you to know this if im gone.

I wanted you to be there when I fall

I wanted you to see me through it all

I wanted you to be the one I loved

I wanted you to hold me in my sleep

I wanted you to show me what I need

I wanted you to know just how down deep

I wanted you

2009-04-20T21:07:00.002+08:00

Im walking away with my heart drippin

with blood that you stab openly.
I still affort to walk even though what you did is hurting

and im dying.

I really cant forget where else forgiving.

Every single sweet memories turns to be brutal.
Sometimes i told myself

theres no point crying for you

and hoping for the beautiful.
Where i know it will never be one.
Sometimes i told myself theres no point being sad on you leaving me

and realise maybe "The Whom"

just want me to go through the bricks that he install for me.
No point for me asking and hoping for your love where i know

im just your "Rebound" and "Conquest".
No point for me to be here waiting and waiting

and now i realise whats infront of me.

I regret about my own self.

Nothing matters to you still waiting here.
What did i do wrong until you left me alone.
Am i suppose to take it as you already have a new mankind.
You change without me realising.
Maybe because i was too much concentrating on you

or maybe because i love you too deeply.
That really happen between us.
Now i just leave everything to "Whom" i should believe in.
I accept whole heartedly.

I just pray for your happiness and put in faith

and move on living

and walking slowly but

this i must say my heart is trap in your heart.
Now everything is over.
I really hope you accept it sincerely and hope that i could forgive you.
I just wanna say goodbye my love.

2009-04-19T09:12:00.002+08:00

Why did you runaway.

I feel so lonely.

I really want you by my side like before.

Where did you go away.

I miss you so.

I find you everywhere and

i lost being pampered and you're having fun outside.

Where did you go running away.

I been finding.

Where's your promises and swearing

Im the Only One
that you gave me.
What mistakes did i do to you and

what wrong move did i make until
you runaway and i lose you.
Inside i keep it deeply.

The Memories between

You and Me.

Im trying to understand what happen.
Maybe i was harsh or my attitude

until Our Love was destroy.

I always said You're the Only One.

Maybe to you all that is meaningless.

What do you mean you still wanna make friends.
I treasure the love that i given you

without bearing the consquences.
Now i realise what is Heart Feelings.
Without you here by my side

there's no meaning im in this state.
Is this what i get for being sincere

until i forgot my own self.
Why am i here still waiting

and loving
even though my heart you cut through deep.
Never ever thought of hating you for what you did.
Now i realise to myself

all the promises you never meant it.
Just let me be here healing my own wounds

and while im here

i will keep waiting and waiting.

Even if there's alot of bricks and sacrifices

i will go through it without thinking

untill i cut my veins.

The End of April

2009-04-17T19:29:00.002+08:00

It wasn't long

since you left me.

I wonder howI wonder why.

Did leave me.

It broke apart.

I fell apart.

How can you do this to me.

Was i right?Am i wrong?

Why won't you tell me.

Did i go out with other girls?

Am i a flirt?

If i were to stab you in your heart.

Would it hurt?
If i told you i loved you.

would you reply.
Or would you stand there and look at me.

As you watch me as i die.
Here i amonce againstanding alone where you left me.

How did we became like this.

Was it my fault that you're unhappy.

Now you left me.

With a question without a answer at the end of April...
And so onI move on forget about the past.

Life goes on for the memories that i have will there for be burnt into ash.

I guess youwasn't the one for me.

At first

I was too blind to see.

I hate you

for what you did to me.

You played me.

I was stupid.
And nowyou see me killing myself.

For what you done to me.

Fall off from my two wheel

and still get up.

Forcing myself in everything i do.

Does it hurt you?

Each day past.

Each night past.

Im still standing just to get you outta my system.
Now you know how powerful you are.

Till im forcing myself thru all the bricks ahead of me.

Restless sleep.

Falling sick.

Blood coughing.

Temp higher.

Skidded off.

Five days.

Four nights.

And so on to come.