.May 31, 2009 ' 2:00:00 AM Y
Here he go again
Put him on the first flight heading eastbound
He promise not to tell his dad
He's miserable
But he grow up to learn
that the scars is cut are permanent
Do anyone find it amusing that he's seeing clear
In this haze of hateful atmosphere
So take him out
Cause he's a mess when he's alone
And if anyone can help
He think his losing it
He grab and hold on tightly
but he start to slip
But they got it wrong saying 'love is blind'
but love is all about sacrifices.
So this one goes out
To all you love struck fools
He got news for you
He know a thing or two on giving up
To all you heartless souls
He think it's best you know
He play the leading role on giving up.
. ' 1:42:00 AM Y
He can see now that all of these clouds
are following him
in his desperate endeavor
To find his whoever
wherever she may be
He's not coming back
He done something so terrible
He terrified to speak
He's mixed up
He be blunt
Now the rain is just driving him crazy
Washing she out of his hair
and out of his mind
Keeping an eye on the world.
So many thousands of feet off the ground
He's over you now
He's at home in the clouds
Towering over her head
. ' 1:23:00 AM Y
He want to breathe her in
Crawl inside her head
Walk around for hours
Exploring thoughts unsaid
He want to taste her fear
And swim inside her eyes
Wrap up in her soul
And feel her anger rise
He want to lick her pain
Bathe in all her tears
Suffocate with memories
He gathered through the years
He want to kiss her depth
And wallow in her sin
Feeling every single thing
He ever felt within
He want to touch her anger
Linger in her pride
Soaking up the hatred
He buried deep inside
He want to smell her secrets
Inhaling all the lies
Relish in contentment
That floats apon her sighs
He want to hear her love
Trail fingers down her dreams
Soak his feet in happiness
Of endless laughter streams
He want to see your turmoil
Get lost inside the lust
Piled up in corners
Collecting passions dust
He want to grasp her innocence
Submerge inside her guilt
Tremble with perceptions
That he have never felt
He want to caress her consciousness
And lay beside her cries
Tremble with her presence
Engulfed within her eyes
Happiness is just outside his window.
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
but her are gone-not for good but for now.
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good.
Happiness damn near destroys her!
So he tell himself that's probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar.
Happiness is like the old man told him
Look for itbut he never find it.
But let it go
live your life and leave it.
Then one day
wake up he'll be home.
.May 27, 2009 ' 6:12:00 AM Y
He been losing his mind.
He been living a lie.
He been running away
for so long.
He try to put on a face
and cover his heart.
He dont know how he feel.
Maybe he's mad
or maybe he's proud.
He cant find the truth.
He cant speak his mind.
Dont know what he say.
No!
He cant explain
what happened to him.
Inside everything's upside down.
Everything's spinning around
and its freaking him out.
He love her too much.
It shows.
All his emotions go
out of control.
From the tears that flow
and dripp to the floor.
.May 26, 2009 ' 4:30:00 AM Y
Every step he took since the moment
he could walk was a step toward finding her.
He wrote her name in the sand
but the waves washed it away.
He wrote her name in his heart
and forever it will stay.
If he count how many times
she crossed his mind in his entire life.
He be lying if he said it was too many
cause heronly crossed his mind once
why?
She never left.
Love does not consist of gazing at each other
but in looking together in the same direction.
Grow old with him!
The best is yet to be.
The most beautiful view is the one
he share with her.
For her see
each day he love her more.
Today more than yesterday
and less than tomorrow.
Relationships of all kinds
are like sand held in her hand.
Held loosely
with an open hand the sand
remains where it is.
The minute she close his hand
and squeeze tightly to hold on the sand trickles
through her fingers.
She may hold onto some of it
but most will be spilled.
A relationship is like that.
Held loosely
with respect and freedom
for the other person
it is likely to remain intact.
But hold too tightly
too possessively
and the relationship slips away
and is lost.
There is one pain he often feel
which she will never know
because it is caused by the absence of her.
If she can't save the relationship
at least save her pride.
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree
but still hold hands.
Some people come into their lives
and quickly go.
Some stay for awhile
and leave footprints on their hearts.
And they are neverever the same.
.May 23, 2009 ' 3:59:00 AM Y
may sixteen zero nine.
Rafael was spending his last two days
at home before heading to work at night.
He usual not at home
but working twenty four seven
due to the sadness
he sees at home with parents packing their stuffs
ready to leave home for a year.
His dad had to work overseas.
His mom have to follow.
Last few hours spending and helping
he bathe and head to work.
Night shift is his usual shift.
The night was breeze and cool.
Even though he's already tired of working twenty four seven
because of he wanna get this girl off his mind
he relax and continue like every night.
That night when he reach his hub
one of his colleagues ask"Fael!
we planned to eat supper like that night.
Chip in?"
And he said
"Anything bro".
He chip in
and laugh off with a smile.
He start his bike.
Switch on his ipod
(with the song that been on for months playing on repeat title i wanted you by ina)
and move off to some off beach park where his deliver is.
riding slowly at night (as usual)
feeling the breeze and the cold night.
After sending his order
riding slowly.
He saw this cabby infront of him
so he decided to change lane to the right.
He pass the cab and suddenly
the cabby just turn without looking hit him
and he flung 2 to 4 meters to the opposite road
and land on the extreme left lane.
His bike was total damaged.
He didnt take a second to look at his bike
but hop to the center
and swear that cab driver
and he faint after that.
He suddenly wake up upon arrival at the hospital.
And his mind was his mom and dad
and the girl that
he said this to
"i'll be not okay if i land myself somewhere
and there is where you got to know
that im willing to put my life on the line just to get over you."
And now aftermath
he said to himself
"he just wish he just die for her
and things would be much easier.
And now he dont know when he can walk again
hope she's happy.
Happy that someone willing
to take his life away just to get over her
and hope noone does that for her before
and noone will ever do that for her."
.May 21, 2009 ' 7:16:00 PM Y
The sun shivers me
and the rain kills me.
Will I be better if I were dead?
My wounds now reminds me you.
.May 20, 2009 ' 9:54:00 PM Y
i never thought that i would landed somewhere and give up and get over you as i never wished it will happen. i still love and still wait even though i will break my promise.
.May 16, 2009 ' 4:18:00 PM Y
Time ticking tick tocking.
Mama packing
and Baba working last at spore.
Having our last meal together tomolo at home.
How silence it would be when they're gone.
Baba, forgive me for every wrong thing that i done.
i didnt mean it so.
Same goes to Mama.
I will try to find someone who can take care of me while you're gone.
Like you said.
Im notty when no one apart of me.
I do whatever i like.
But Mama, no one have caught fire in my eyes except her.
It been five years now
and only she caught me Mama.
Only now i have her eight digits.
But i dont have the guts to say to her or even confess to her.
I know nothing about her.
All i know about her is her number
her favourite Macd Meal
her favourite chocolate
her favourite Color
and where she stay atand what her storey.
Im just so afraid Mama.
Im afraid of being alone in the dark room.
and i know im gona cry when you and Baba walking pass
through that gate.
How i wish she know how i feel.
How i wish she know that she's the meddy.
How i wish she know that im craving for her.
She keep gaving me love but thats all in cyber.
Not in reality.
How i wish it was real.
I promise Mama i will takecare of myself
and not be notty
and always clean up my room when its in mess.
loves Muhd Razeen Badarudin
.May 14, 2009 ' 9:34:00 PM Y
Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire
My love is blind
Can't you see my desire?
. ' 9:22:00 PM Y
You dont realise
I'd do anything for you.
I'd wanna steal the stars out from the sky above you.
I would tame the wild hurricane wind.
If you take this heart of mine.
How i wish i can say dont make me wait one more day.
Don't you forsake this love so great if you ever feel it.
But i know you dont.
I wish to walk to heavens gate with you.
How i wish you would say "I love you"
We've been friends
and how i wish we been so close together.
I want more to satisfy this hunger.
I want your body
mind
spirit
and soul.
But i think i wouldnt happen.
Baby let's set the wheels in motion.
Youre the cure to this heart that's broken.
Come on baby.
Let's seize the moment.
Just say the words I long to hear spoken
But i think i gotta walking into a rosebush and not get pricked by thorns.
Don't you worry.
My tears will soon be over.
Im just going away to get over you.
With your conscience clear for a new life ahead.
Don't be sorry.
I really need to hear the truth.
But the only thing im asking.
Cos i need you to
Remember me.
Maybe time alone will make you see
and how deep our love could be.
Cos i know
this the first time in five years now.
Now i surrender my soul.
Cos you're always
keepin' me waitin'
anticipatin'
I hope when im gone
you would find the love i had for you.
I give up as i know there's no glimmer of a chance
And my dream is just a fairy tales.
Trying to invite love and a perfect romance.
A burning passion
oh baby you're my destiny.
But I'll be there
even though you don't care.
.May 10, 2009 ' 11:53:00 AM Y
I dont want to see the world
alone to take a chance on life again.
If i were to be your prince charming
and your my enchanted princess on our throne
forever rule the kingdom of our love.
Together living in a bubble.
The days are neverending for US
Cause i got to say this maybe its in your eyes
Its definitely Baby
its in your smile.
Cause i just can go crazy
Losing it all.
And it will make me happy catching you fall.
In a weeks timeBaba and Mama leaving.
And i dont know gonna happen.
I dont know what in you that made me caught fire
and wanna be with you.
Where i dont even know you at all.
Not a single thing.
I dont know why i felt shit up and tripp
when you say a friend fetching you.
First i working like hell
because i dont want
to cry in my room and think and look
at the stuffs that packing up.
And now
you came play apart.
Im just trying to get you off my mind.
But i cant.
I dont want to fall.
Falling will just end me up bleeding
and not healing.
But i already am.
And i know it gona hurt next.
It just simply starts with a N and ends with a A.
Begins with a S and ends with a A.
In between a I.
I just dont know why i love you.
But i know you dont love me or having anything towards me.
Trying to be close just simply scared.
Trying to confess
but everything change my mind.
Trying to say something but
end up stopping halfway
and just leave it hanging.
I afraid of wooing you.
Why cant you just woo me.
Whatever it is
only you have caught fire in my eyes all this years.
From the first time i saw you
till this sec im typing out
even though you did nothing at all.
And now again.
Forcing everything from my veins
to my blood in my body
to work and get you off my mind.
Force till i cant force.
That is why i decide to pack and leave
without you noticing that im gone.
You never notice anything coming from me.
I swore five vowels and three syllabels to you
.May 9, 2009 ' 8:02:00 PM Y
He woke up from dreaming
Dreaming that she was at his doorstep.
She bought food for him.
And say can i come in and company you while youre parents away.
He's leaning now into the breeze
Remembering the dream and
he falls to his knees.
Like the feeling of what he needs
From the one who caught fire in his eyes.
Even though he doesn't believe in love
he's determined to call her bluff.
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
and he admit that he do love you.
They're neighbors all this while.unfamiliar faces
He pleads.
Oh he tries
But he's only denied everything
Now he's dying to get inside
She was the first who made him like this.
Having butterflies in the stomach.
Texting and stopping halfway through all his sentence.
She's in his mind all the while
without she realising that it was her all this while.
Backing off from all his words.
He's a victim of his time
There was no choosing his direction
He feel lost in the path.
Never ever thought that she will be in his cell.
And now he does still hiding behind the bushes.
With all his trials behind him
He simply weak in his conviction.
You were are now the victim of his crimes
You were a beautiful distraction
So he kept her locked away outside
Let misery provide
And now he's afraid.
How he wish you were his
and he were yours.
He read you as his enchanted princess.
He hoped it would come true
that one day he would be your prince charming.
And say this to you.
"I would make you my world
move heaven and earth if you were my girl
I would give you my heart
be all that you need
show you you're everything that's precious to me
if you give me a chance
I never make a promise i don't intend to keep
so when i say forever
forever's what i mean
Well i'm no casanovabut i swear this much is true.
I'll be holding nothing back
when it comes to you
you dream of love that's everlasting
well baby open up your eyes."
.May 7, 2009 ' 5:28:00 PM Y
He was shy to make his move.
His life was full of loneliness
Until she caught fire in his eyes
Gotta be gotta be his everything
He got what he want
He got what he need
What can he do
When he really really crazy over her.
Once upon a time
there was a boy and a girl.
This is so typical
they were so typical.
For example boy loves girl
but girl doesnt know that boy loves her cause
The boy is shy.
The boy is why.
The boy is scared.
The girl still stands strong livin her life
The man in boy
pretends that he had no love for the girl anyway
He keeps to himself in the place that he stays umm
He writes letters
one after another
and other ways he possibly could saying that
He know that he be loving her so
Shes his soul
His everything in life he could have
He just cant let her go
It was another day
and the boy was working at MacD's
forcing everything he got in his body to get over her
and denied loving her.
He memorized his final script
and wrote the last letter.
Hoping that it was abit better
than the one before.
Thats what its for
he’s ready to make the first move
ready to score but.
Suddenly
in front of him
ordering fries and a macspicy was none other than the one he wanted
The girl with another guy
she smiled
he winked
they both said, ‘hi!’
He was dumfounded
jaws dropped to the floor.
closed it.
And he ran straight out the door
And back to his crib where he cried and cried.
He loving you so much
and want you in his life
even though he know nothing about you.
He never cried like this
The words he wrote for her
He noticed her from far
But all she see is like
She don’t give a damn
Boxes piling up
He leaving on the jetplane without you realising it
Typing this out
tears falling and rolling down his cheek
and saying I Love you so much Six Three..
He telling her its too tough
when he feel he almost had her but
. ' 4:36:00 PM Y
err he dont know where to start.
here it go.
he didnt know all this while she were in his profile.
last sunday while he was working he saw her passing by and
she went in to buy some macd.
yes he one of the riders.
so hate that day got attach there for a day.
im sorry on their behalf for disturbing her.
he dont like them anyway. =))
secondly,
all this while/years he been finding this natural beauty girl that living near his area.
he still remember every day before
he got his two wheels they used to go to school together.
she were in B and he was still in Ba.
yes he admit.
the first time he saw her at the station
she caught fire in his eyes
then he went searching every profile he got but
still couldnt find her.
type out her school or the area they living in but still couldnt find her.
and now he just realise she were in his profile all this while.
before he got his two wheels
after the first time he saw her he hope to see her every morning.
when he saw her je
he will look secretly and
when she realise he was looking he will turn away and
look else where.
after he got his two wheels je
he dont see her anymore.
a year plus going to be two now but
he still searching.
ask around who that natural beauty girl that he saw every morning.
give describtion to his friends but
no one know who.until last sunday he saw her again after so long.
even though that particular day he got the chance to go to her
still he was still afraid like before he have his two wheels.
so now since he know she in his list
he taking this chance even though its not gentle.
maybe she can call this all crap or whatsoever she may think of.
its her decision he respect.
he out of words what to say to her.
rush home for awhile just to message her here
and now he going off back for his second shift.
but its all to her to believe him.
Begin with the letter N and ends with the letter A.
In between a I.
maybe if she want to she can hit his eight digits.
he not sure whether he making the wrong move by giving out his digits.
never he ever do this before.
this was his first and last.
so now he guess he go now and
bathe and back to work.
.May 4, 2009 ' 3:27:00 PM Y
Beautiful you know you leave me breathless
each time you caught fire into my eyes.
My heart belong to you and you my angel
even though i know youre taken.
Each time i saw you countlessly
i cant believe it how magical you are.
My star belong to you baby.
I thought I could live in your arms
and spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night watching the stars
and confess all the faith that I had in you.
I thought that we could sit around and talk for hours.
About things I couldnt say to you
And things that we could never do and
this conversation has had no face.
Starts with a alphabet S and ends with A.
Begin with the letter N and ends with the letter A.
In between a I.
I borrow words from all my favourite paragraphs.
To write about all of these faded things.
We hope would mean the most to me
and each line is sent i have found a new pages of hope
for the days when i fell like ive lost everything.
Baby your the closest thing that ive wanted most but
you still cant see.
I say five vowels and three syllabels to you.
Its the same three words i thought i would never said again to anyone.
The phrase that breaks a heart in two
Cause Baby I love You
.May 2, 2009 ' 11:47:00 AM Y
My misery
My history
Here i am with nobody.
Walking all alone
on my lonely street.
Standing tall on my own feet.
I cant believe this happen to me.
You left me standing to face reality.
Im standing again.
To release the pain.
Here i am my melody.
Asking you to stay with me.
Here i am my melody.
I force myself to work when i actually cant.
Been falling sick till i dont know how.
Got myself in accident till i lost count.
Everything i do now is because i want to get you of my mind.
I been bleeding bad.
But you can't see my blood It's nothing
but some feelings that i always hide.
I've always been a fighter and
fight thru every single thing but
im so weak when you were here
and i cant fight thru
Now your picture that i took and put it in my cell.
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
some that made us cry
One that made i have to say goodbye
Seeing you popup on my cell
how i wish you were mine.
Touching my cell
looking upon you and i say
"You're the only one who caught my eyes on fire"
No one have suceeded to do so except you.
How i wish i could say this upon looking in your eyes
"You look so wonderful.
Youre everything I need and more"
Even though i dont know you well
i feel i know you everything.
I just dont want you to realise how much i love you.
I really do.
When the first time i hand you your meal.
I went lost of words.
I was shock
lost
I dont know what to do.
Have a quick words and quickly walkaway.
I know i was rude.
I just cant help it.
My body was melting
and my knees are shaking.
My heart is pounding to pieces.
How much i feel so lonely when baba and mama leaving soon.
less than a month now.
What gonna happen to me.
I dont know.
Now i know when im gonna serve the nation.
I'm so sorry Baby
Maybe i should just pack up and leave
and only return when i need so.
Leaving without you realising that im gone.
But i want you to know this if im gone.
I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you
